The Perfect Wife

I’m the perfect wife...

In my mind maybe, but not always with my actions and certainly not my attitude. Yeah I’m woman enough to admit it. I’m not a perfect wife. I’ll say it again, I’m not a perfect wife. My hubby isn’t a perfect husband either, but this post isn’t about him, it’s about yours truly.

From my anniversary post you all should know that God has allowed us to see seven years of wedded... growth. Marrying young, practically as teenagers, we’ve had our share of ups and a lot of downs, because lets be honest, at 19 and 20 whose mind is capable of grasping the true meaning of marriage and what it means to love unconditionally, sacrifice their wants for someone else's feelings, putting your spouse before family and friends that you’ve grown up with and definitely the role that God has designed for each of us to play as a husband and a wife? At those ages there is still some selfishness going on, if not downright hardheadedness.

Growing up I always dreamed of the fairy tale marriage that you see in Disney movies and romance movies in general. My home situation involved two parents, that’s a plus, but there was still some dysfunction. I knew that when I did get married,my marriage was going to be my main focus. I wasn’t going to cheat and I was not getting a divorce...period! I’ve managed to keep those vows to myself, despite the tremendous amount of tests and trials that I’ve gone through to make it through.

While I may have never cheated and I stuck by his side no matter what, I cook and clean, and I love God, but that still doesn’t make me the perfect wife. You see, while going through some of the most painful things I’ve gone through in marriage I didn’t always have the right attitude. The bible calls for us to be long-suffering and I was not that. I suffered, true enough, but was I always patient about when my breakthrough would come? No. Did I always have faith that things would change? No. Did I always encourage my husband and lift him up? Sadly, no. I could go on, but with those three No’s I think I’ve made my point. 

It takes more than sticking it out and being domestic to be the perfect wife. It takes patience, unconditional love and most importantly it takes FAITH. If more women would be honest with themselves we would stop placing the blame on our husbands for everything that has gone wrong in our marriages. He may do some pretty bad things, but we still have to account for our actions and even our attitudes (which a lot of us overlook). Stop and think is your attitude and your aura keeping the peace or causing more issues. Most women think if they admit they are some of the problem in their marriage that makes them weak, but it shouldn’t be about how you look, it should be about how healthy your marriage is and in order for us to change we first have to admit that we do need to change.

I’m admitting that I need to change. Will you?

Proverbs 31 Woman

Source: Myself

This has got to be one of my most favorite scriptures. I have a ton more, but this one I fell in love with when I first gave my life to Christ. Proverbs is one of my favorite books as well, but I know that the thirty first chapter has a special place in the hearts of all of Gods daughters, or at least it should. We all should be striving to become Proverbs 31 women. It is the blueprint of what a wife, mother and woman in general should be in the eyes of God.

Here is another iPhone 5 wallpaper, or it could be whatever you want it for, currently I'm using it as the wallpaper on my MacBook, and that has inspired me to begin making my own wallpapers for that as well, stay tuned for those!

Have a beautifully blessed day!

Source: Myself

Peace, Love & Happiness

I found this on Pinterest one day and it spoke to me in a lot of ways, especially since I've already acknowledged my pursuit of happiness. I'll be printing this out and hanging it somewhere that I can see it everyday, as a reminder. I figured I would share it with you all, because every one needs some encouragement every now and then. And the best encouragement usually comes from within yourself.

Think Happy Thoughts

   "Happiness is a conscious choice, not an automatic response." -- Mildred Barthel

I've been on a quest to find happiness... but then again, who hasn't at some point in their life? Whether it's through a relationship, a career, hobby, chasing a dream, or even with how we view our bodies; we all have shed some blood, sweat and tears to be happy...

I've struggled for a while to genuinely be happy, not faking the funk or behaving in a way to make people think that I'm happy. And I've searched for it in all of the ways listed above. When I would reach a goal that I thought would finally bring me some happiness, I would fall short in a different area and then I would be right back to square one because everything didn't fall into place the way I wanted it to or when I wanted it to.

But I'm learning... I'm definitely learning that happiness doesn't come from your circumstance, it comes from you choosing to be happy regardless. It starts in you, not with what is happening on the outside, in the world. If you make a conscious decision to be happy, there's nothing that can take that away from you. You can have the worst day of your life, with everything falling apart, but if you decide that you're going to be happy, then you will be just that! I post a lot of inspirational quotes on my Instagram page, and I've been told by a few people that they enjoy seeing them everyday, but I have to admit, I don't only post them to give away positive vibes, I post it to see and claim positive vibes for myself.

As of recent, my favorite quote is "Think Happy Thoughts", simply because focusing on negative things will not bring forth happiness, it will bring you down even more and it will be even  harder to get back up. So think happy and BE HAPPY.

"Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think about such things." -Phillipians 4:8

Self Worth

Image via Google.

Self worth.
Something not enough women of this generation seem to have. Many feel some type of worth, but self worth? Not so much. Not that it's completely the woman's fault. A lot of factors play into it, the media being one and how it portrays a "beautiful" woman. Second in line are the men of today's generation who feel a woman isn't beautiful if she isn't half naked, or dragging a wagon behind her (big butt). These two things help to mold how our women view themselves nowadays. A lot of us feel we're not pretty if we're not up on the latest fashion, going to the hair and nail salon every week, or if the proportions of our bodies don't add up to 36-24-36.

I'm here to tell you, that is a lie.

Crying Out to God

It’s what I keep telling myself. Some people know some of what I’ve been through, but no one knows all of what I’ve been through and only me and God know the aftermath of what I deal with because of it all. As a child I’ve been through some things, and up until now as an adult I’ve been through a lot more. I’ve been through about every type of abuse you can think of. I’ve been broken, battered and bruised. I’ve been to the point of almost taking my own life, and of wishing God would stop my suffering here on earth and just go ahead and call me on home to be with him.

But I’m still here.

Why? Simply because of Him. There has been many times where I turned my back on God, because I felt that if he truly loved me he wouldn’t allow these things to happen to me. I didn’t feel loved, I felt like I didn’t have anyone to talk to about my issues or my problems because I was too embarrassed already, I didn’t want to be flat out humiliated and talked about to no end. So, I held it all in and eventually it would erupt in anger, anger to the point where I felt like I was literally possessed, and I was. The devil was most certainly possessing my mind. I would hear this voice coming out of my mouth and all the while I would be thinking to myself, “That doesn’t sound like me.” And it wasn’t me. It was the person that I was allowing the devil to make me into. And even though I didn’t stop it, I hated who I was becoming and I saw nothing but a dead end street if I continued to allow my bitterness and anger to continue to take hold of me.

But even though I would turn my back on God, he never turned his back on me. In the midst of all of my storms, he was there. As cliché as it sounds, he was that still small voice that would speak to me when I was alone to myself, giving me hope. When I got to the point where I was truly tired of how I was allowing the devil to have control over me, and when I was truly afraid of how I could end up, I had to lay my pride to the side, lock myself in my closet on numerous occasions and cry out to God. I had to stop praying for the change in others that I wanted to see, but instead focus on the changes in me that I absolutely needed to see. And I tell you what, when I started working on me, is when God began also working on those who I’d been praying to see change in before.

I still struggle with the pain from my past, I will not lie. As long as I’m alive the devil will try to lay these guilt trips on me, or have me living in my past.  But I truly see a difference in myself; I feel a difference in myself. I continue to go through things, but no one will even be able to tell, because I’m still praising God in the midst of it, still allowing myself to be used to uplift others. People don’t know it, but when I post things on my social networking pages, not only am I ministering to others, but to myself as well. I need God’s word just as much as anyone else.

 I still have moments where I feel as though God is the only one who I can talk to without judgment being passed, or when I feel like I need to go into my closet and just cry to him and to let out all of my frustration. That doesn’t make me a weak person, because the devil would have people around me telling me that I was weak amongst other things, when in actuality after going through everything I’ve gone through, not breaking down, ending up in prison or a mental institution, or even worse; dead before my work here on earth was done. Going through all of that and still coming out praising God, that makes me one of the strongest women alive. And a true asset to the Kingdom of God. 

“Call upon me in the day of trouble: I will deliver thee, and thou shalt glorify me”

 -Psalm 50:15