Paula Deen and the "N" Word

The ‘N’ word…So, apparently Paula Deen admitted to using this word. In the beginning I had mixed feelings about it. My hubby told me about it first, and I didn’t feel any sort of way. Then I started feeling like, ‘a white woman (who I admired for her cooking skills) called someone a N----r, I should be upset!’ and so I was, for a whole day. Then something else hit me. Why should I be upset with her for using a word that we as black people call each other all the time? Why get upset when someone of a different race does it? The word is the word regardless. And I don’t buy that, ‘the real meaning and the slang term of it mean two different things’ mess. It means what it means, and nine times out of ten when we’re using it, it coincides with the meaning. I said WE’RE because I too have been guilty of saying it. So, I felt it would be a bit hypocritical of me to get upset with her using it. And probably more than half of the black people who are upset with her using this word, use it daily and probably have called someone of another race a derogatory name as well. So, pump your hypocritical brakes and address the situation with yourself before you try to gain some type of justice from someone else. I’m not trying to make any excuses for her, or downplay it, because wrong is wrong, regardless of what race you are. All I’m saying is sweep around your own front door before you try to sweep around hers. Ok?

Stay At Home Mom Drama

“You’re not a real woman, you don’t work.” I’ve heard that a time or two…or three or four during my time as a stay at home mom. It gets old, fast, but it also rolls off of my back a lot easier now. I’ve been a stay at home mom for about 7 years, with a six month stint in the mix of me working. It was an agreement that my husband and I made, that we get along fine with, but it seems to rub others the wrong way. Why? I don’t know, you’d think they pay our bills or something (go figure). We’re not on any public assistance, so they’re not helping to take care of this “non-woman” or her family involuntarily with their tax dollars, so what’s the big fuss? One word, jealousy. Yep, I said it, jealousy.

Now, at first I didn’t know what to think of it, but as I sat down and talked with my mom and a few of the other ladies in my life who I’m close with, they all came to the same conclusion. “It’s jealousy baby.” Jealous, of me? Why? I’m sure I will never get the answer to that, because no one will be willing to lay their pride to the side and admit they’re guilty of such a thing. However, I have only heard it from the same group of people, and no one else, EVER. So… you make the call. By the way, I’ve always been applauded by older women on my mothering and homemaking skills, and even some young moms who don’t feel the need to judge what goes on in my marriage. Hmph!

Whoever came up with the lie that stay at home mom’s don’t work must have been doing some serious drinking, or must have never been a stay at home mom or attempted such a feat. Keeping a house together, and kids alive and well at ALL times is a job! Teaching them to be respectful and manner able and all of the things we are instructed by God to teach them, It’s not an easy task, considering nowadays it usually does take two working to be able to make it (unless your significant other makes a good bit of money), or the fact that unless you have a few stay at home mom friends, or are a part of a play date group, being a stay at home mom becomes a very lonely thing. It’s always nice to have other adults to talk to or be around, but that’s nearly impossible since most people you know may be working during the day and too tired to do anything else by the time they arrive home. But in my opinion it’s worth it to know that you’re the main influence in your child’s life, or you know for a fact that they are not being abused. And your significant other can come home to a clean home and a home-cooked meal. It has its perks and it has its downfalls, the same as holding down a full time job.

It was never in my mind to NEVER work, it was only up until both of my children started school. And when that happened, it was still kind of hard to do with the schedule of my daughter’s school, considering she didn’t go or get out at the same time as her brother, and the majority of the time I’m the only parent home because my hubby works Offshore. So, then it got pushed back to when she starts kindergarten and they can go to the same school and get out at the same time. And we’re finally inching closer to that day, PRAISE GOD!!

 I have nothing bad to say about stay at home moms, or moms that work. We all have our own obstacles, I just wish people would stop thinking of me as less a woman or make themselves believe that I lack ambition because my husband does what a husband is supposed to do, which is provide for his family. And contrary to what they may believe, I don’t sit on my butt all day, every day. And this stay at home mom will be glad when the day comes that she is no longer staying at home.