The Perfect Wife

I’m the perfect wife...

In my mind maybe, but not always with my actions and certainly not my attitude. Yeah I’m woman enough to admit it. I’m not a perfect wife. I’ll say it again, I’m not a perfect wife. My hubby isn’t a perfect husband either, but this post isn’t about him, it’s about yours truly.

From my anniversary post you all should know that God has allowed us to see seven years of wedded... growth. Marrying young, practically as teenagers, we’ve had our share of ups and a lot of downs, because lets be honest, at 19 and 20 whose mind is capable of grasping the true meaning of marriage and what it means to love unconditionally, sacrifice their wants for someone else's feelings, putting your spouse before family and friends that you’ve grown up with and definitely the role that God has designed for each of us to play as a husband and a wife? At those ages there is still some selfishness going on, if not downright hardheadedness.

Growing up I always dreamed of the fairy tale marriage that you see in Disney movies and romance movies in general. My home situation involved two parents, that’s a plus, but there was still some dysfunction. I knew that when I did get married,my marriage was going to be my main focus. I wasn’t going to cheat and I was not getting a divorce...period! I’ve managed to keep those vows to myself, despite the tremendous amount of tests and trials that I’ve gone through to make it through.

While I may have never cheated and I stuck by his side no matter what, I cook and clean, and I love God, but that still doesn’t make me the perfect wife. You see, while going through some of the most painful things I’ve gone through in marriage I didn’t always have the right attitude. The bible calls for us to be long-suffering and I was not that. I suffered, true enough, but was I always patient about when my breakthrough would come? No. Did I always have faith that things would change? No. Did I always encourage my husband and lift him up? Sadly, no. I could go on, but with those three No’s I think I’ve made my point. 

It takes more than sticking it out and being domestic to be the perfect wife. It takes patience, unconditional love and most importantly it takes FAITH. If more women would be honest with themselves we would stop placing the blame on our husbands for everything that has gone wrong in our marriages. He may do some pretty bad things, but we still have to account for our actions and even our attitudes (which a lot of us overlook). Stop and think is your attitude and your aura keeping the peace or causing more issues. Most women think if they admit they are some of the problem in their marriage that makes them weak, but it shouldn’t be about how you look, it should be about how healthy your marriage is and in order for us to change we first have to admit that we do need to change.

I’m admitting that I need to change. Will you?

Proverbs 31 Woman

Source: Myself

This has got to be one of my most favorite scriptures. I have a ton more, but this one I fell in love with when I first gave my life to Christ. Proverbs is one of my favorite books as well, but I know that the thirty first chapter has a special place in the hearts of all of Gods daughters, or at least it should. We all should be striving to become Proverbs 31 women. It is the blueprint of what a wife, mother and woman in general should be in the eyes of God.

Here is another iPhone 5 wallpaper, or it could be whatever you want it for, currently I'm using it as the wallpaper on my MacBook, and that has inspired me to begin making my own wallpapers for that as well, stay tuned for those!

Have a beautifully blessed day!

Source: Myself

Self Worth

Image via Google.

Self worth.
Something not enough women of this generation seem to have. Many feel some type of worth, but self worth? Not so much. Not that it's completely the woman's fault. A lot of factors play into it, the media being one and how it portrays a "beautiful" woman. Second in line are the men of today's generation who feel a woman isn't beautiful if she isn't half naked, or dragging a wagon behind her (big butt). These two things help to mold how our women view themselves nowadays. A lot of us feel we're not pretty if we're not up on the latest fashion, going to the hair and nail salon every week, or if the proportions of our bodies don't add up to 36-24-36.

I'm here to tell you, that is a lie.

Crying Out to God

It’s what I keep telling myself. Some people know some of what I’ve been through, but no one knows all of what I’ve been through and only me and God know the aftermath of what I deal with because of it all. As a child I’ve been through some things, and up until now as an adult I’ve been through a lot more. I’ve been through about every type of abuse you can think of. I’ve been broken, battered and bruised. I’ve been to the point of almost taking my own life, and of wishing God would stop my suffering here on earth and just go ahead and call me on home to be with him.

But I’m still here.

Why? Simply because of Him. There has been many times where I turned my back on God, because I felt that if he truly loved me he wouldn’t allow these things to happen to me. I didn’t feel loved, I felt like I didn’t have anyone to talk to about my issues or my problems because I was too embarrassed already, I didn’t want to be flat out humiliated and talked about to no end. So, I held it all in and eventually it would erupt in anger, anger to the point where I felt like I was literally possessed, and I was. The devil was most certainly possessing my mind. I would hear this voice coming out of my mouth and all the while I would be thinking to myself, “That doesn’t sound like me.” And it wasn’t me. It was the person that I was allowing the devil to make me into. And even though I didn’t stop it, I hated who I was becoming and I saw nothing but a dead end street if I continued to allow my bitterness and anger to continue to take hold of me.

But even though I would turn my back on God, he never turned his back on me. In the midst of all of my storms, he was there. As cliché as it sounds, he was that still small voice that would speak to me when I was alone to myself, giving me hope. When I got to the point where I was truly tired of how I was allowing the devil to have control over me, and when I was truly afraid of how I could end up, I had to lay my pride to the side, lock myself in my closet on numerous occasions and cry out to God. I had to stop praying for the change in others that I wanted to see, but instead focus on the changes in me that I absolutely needed to see. And I tell you what, when I started working on me, is when God began also working on those who I’d been praying to see change in before.

I still struggle with the pain from my past, I will not lie. As long as I’m alive the devil will try to lay these guilt trips on me, or have me living in my past.  But I truly see a difference in myself; I feel a difference in myself. I continue to go through things, but no one will even be able to tell, because I’m still praising God in the midst of it, still allowing myself to be used to uplift others. People don’t know it, but when I post things on my social networking pages, not only am I ministering to others, but to myself as well. I need God’s word just as much as anyone else.

 I still have moments where I feel as though God is the only one who I can talk to without judgment being passed, or when I feel like I need to go into my closet and just cry to him and to let out all of my frustration. That doesn’t make me a weak person, because the devil would have people around me telling me that I was weak amongst other things, when in actuality after going through everything I’ve gone through, not breaking down, ending up in prison or a mental institution, or even worse; dead before my work here on earth was done. Going through all of that and still coming out praising God, that makes me one of the strongest women alive. And a true asset to the Kingdom of God. 

“Call upon me in the day of trouble: I will deliver thee, and thou shalt glorify me”

 -Psalm 50:15

Godly Woman: Raising Daughters

     If you have a daughter, God has given you something special. Daughters grow up to be wives and mothers of their own children, who give the same love, affection, admonition and support that they were given as little girls. Mothers have a hand at creating loveable children who become loveable adults. They also have a hand at creating disrespectful children who become the same as adults.

Having a daughter doesn’t simply mean that you have a “mini me” or a baby doll to play dress up with or a shopping buddy. If you have a daughter, the thing first and foremost on your mind should be to guide her on her path to becoming a Godly woman, who knows how she is supposed to behave according to Gods word. And quite honestly, that begins with how she sees Mommy behave.

     Children often emulate how they see their parents behave. If you’re argumentative, they will be also. If you use profane language all of the time, don’t be surprised when you’re in the grocery store and they blurt out a few choice words. So, behave in a manner that will help them grow, not set them up to fail as adults. Just like a girls first love, nine times out of ten, is her father. Her first best friend is usually her mother. Be the type of friend that you would want her to interact with once she past the stage of wanting to hang around mom all of the time. Set a great example for her in how she is supposed to treat people, how she should carry herself as a lady, how to dress modestly (not saying she has to dress as a nun, but show her how to be cute but classy) and most importantly how she is to behave as a wife and mother one day, should that be what God has in store for her.  

                                “...Guide older women into lives of reverence so they end up as neither gossips nor drunks, but models of goodness. By looking at them, the younger women will know how to love their husbands and children, be virtuous and pure, keep a good house, be good wives. We don’t want anyone looking down on God’s Message because of their behavior.” –Titus 2:3-6

     As mothers we have a great task placed on us, but that gives us no excuse to drop the ball, especially when it comes to raising these future mothers and nurturers. Your daughter will one day treat her children and her husband the way you treated her and how she saw you treat her father.  If her father isn’t in her life and you’re also not married, she will still see how you interact with other men in your life. Whether it’s good or bad, she will one day emulate it because she saw mommy do it, so it must be right.

     Another thing that I notice, that breaks my heart is the fact that little girls as young as four and five “hate” on other little girls their age. And where could they have learned such a behavior at such a young age? From mom. When my five year old daughter started school, the first couple of days she would come home sad saying the other little girls called her ugly and they didn’t want to be her friend. “Mean Girls” at the age of 4 is a sad, sad case. They grow up to become mean teenagers, mean women and also bullies. We should be building our daughters confidence level up so high that they should see no need of putting down on another little girl, and when they grow up, other grown women. They shouldn’t be listening to us constantly speaking ill of other women either, because they will learn to do it as well. In today’s society, a lot of men tear down the very women they should be building up. Don’t teach your daughter to do the same. Teach her to empower and show love to other women, because in this day and age we have to empower each other. A small compliment goes a long way. If you think she’s pretty, tell her. If you like her outfit, let her know. Don’t sit back clocking her and getting jealous, that breeds nothing but hate and it will eat you alive. It will even change how you view yourself.

     Help these young ladies to become confident in themselves, respectful of themselves and lovers of Christ and watch how they blossom. Once they do blossom, fighting in the streets will be beneath them, posing in front of the camera with their butts tooted up will be an uncomfortable position, putting down on other women will also leave a sour taste in their mouth. And the best way to achieve this for them, is for them to first see you do it. Be the kind of woman you would like to see her become one day.